I always dreaded hearing her testimonies, but I think most of my ward enjoyed it because she put a lot of effort into them and they were "spiritually edifying" or something.Īnyway, on this particular sunday morning, she gets up to give her usual testimony/sermon, and it ended up being the cringiest experience in my entire church-going life. They would often last a good ten minutes, and come across similar to a regular talk that the bishop would assign, complete with a theme, message, story, scripture citations, etc. Now, this woman would bear her testimony on a monthly basis, and you could tell she spent a lot of time prepping for these talks. So one week I am sitting in what started out as just a regular old Fast/Testimony meeting, when a woman got up to give her testimony. For context, I was fairly mentally checked out at that point, but still going through most of the motions of being a decent Mormon - I went to church and seminary regularly, performed my priestly duties, etc. Now, this happened a good 8 years or so ago when I was about 16 or 17. The one relevant to this story is, of course, the "I believe without a shadow of a doubt."
I'm talking about stuff like "bless this jello, that it may nourish and strengthen our bodies", "we are grateful for the moisture we received this week", "in the holy name of our Lord and Savior, even Jesus the Christ, Amen", "At first, when the bishop asked me to give this talk, bla bla bla", etc etc. Usually these show up in public prayers, but also in testimony-bearing ( cough vain repetitions cough).
Of course, anyone who has spent time as a Mormon (especially in Utah) will be familiar with many of the strange phrases and sayings that circle jerk their way into the common LDS vernacular. Not sure why, but I just randomly remembered it and thought I'd share.
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